Hate the crime and not the criminal. *T&C apply?

We have all heard the saying "hate the crime and not the criminal". While I agree that in some cases good people make really bad mistakes, I got to wondering whether it is always possible to separate the crime from the criminal. In a lot of situations, what a person does is reflection of who the person is. In such cases, how do you separate the crime from the criminal? For instance, if a really poor man after starving for days ends up stealing, you may be able to not hate the man even though you may a absolutely hate what he did. However, if someone habitually commits domestic violence can you really just dislike what the person does without disliking the person? Even in our daily lives, if we see someone misbehaving with or hurting people we care about, it is possible to merely dislike what the person does without letting it affect the way we feel about the person? And if that is indeed possible, is it really fair to the person who is being hurt if nobody feels any differently about the person causing the hurt? 

While I believe that people should be tolerant towards others, maybe just sometimes judging people for their actions is the right thing do. Especially if what they do is a reflection of the kind of person that they are. Otherwise people who do wrong would never face any consequence for their actions unless what they do is severe enough to have them formally punished by an authority. 

Maybe.....

Married to a slave?

 While slavery is officially outlawed, do we often fail to see the biggest form of slavery camouflaged all around us? Before I say anything further, I'd like to say that I don't wish to generalize the situation, hurt any sentiments or say that this happens with everyone. I am sure there are many exceptions to what I am about to say, and frankly, thank god for that! This is just an observation I made about many around me. 

Right from childhood we see our mothers and grandmothers and aunts and sisters cook, clean, look after the house, tend to the children and practically do everything else for their husbands. We see it so often around us that we hardly ever find anything wrong with it. In fact, most of us grow up thinking that it is the ideal way to be. Some of us even find it objectionable from a feminist perspective. Which it probably is.

But what I am concerned about today is whether marriage is just a way of turning women into glorified slaves with certain privileges. A situation where men are the masters and their wives do everything for them. In some cases, the sense of ownership is so strong that women are not only made to do everything at home but they are also physically abused, beaten up and ill-treated. Even women who are earning do everything else in the house while the men relax, drink, sleep or do about anything else but help out. Unfortunately what makes it worse is that many women grow up thinking that this is normal or even ideal, that it is what keeps a family together and that it is done out of love. 

How is this any different from slavery? Just because a slave loves the master or the other way around doesn't change the fact that they are still a slave right? Something to think about. 

Thinking out loud

 I have not posted here in a long time. Life just got so busy. I guess I did not have much time to ponder on things. Or even if I did, may not have occurred to me to write it down.

Today, however, while having a conversation with a friend I got to thinking about something that always leaves me confused and unsure...

I always believe that people should respect each other's opinion and choices even if they don't make any sense to them or even if they seem ridiculous or absurd to them. I often have heated arguments with people who feel that their opinion is the correct and supreme and anything to the contrary is nonsense. If people don't respect and accept things they don't agree with, I believe there will just be intolerance, violence and dictatorship. 

Having said that, I often wonder, am I going against my own principle if I am questioning someone's right to judge someone else? What I mean is, by saying that people should not judge or be intolerant about things they disagree with, am I myself disrespecting someone's else's right to judge?

Which brings me to my next question, is there an extent to which people should have the right to make choices free of judgement? Is it ever okay to not respect someone else's opinion? For example, if someone tells me a woman belongs in the kitchen, I do mot think I will ever be able to respect that opinion. Does that make me a hypocrite?

I wonder....